I need to replace your photo on the homepage Dad. I’ve had it on their for about 6 months in the hopes that it would inspire me to do great things under your watchful eye. But I feel as if it has had the opposite effect. Every time I look at your photo I don’t get feelings of empowerment and motivation to do or write things I just feel sad. Sad that you’re not here, sad that I can’t hear your voice, sad because I wonder how hard it must be for Mum without you.
I just want you to know that I call Mum a couple of time a week to make sure she’s doing ok – I know you would appreciate that. Even though she’s living in Hamilton in a new place trying to start a new life I still saved her number under ‘Mum & Dad’. It can be hard to call her sometimes, not because we haven’t had the best relationship but because I still keep expecting to speak to you after her. That guts me.
It’s July now and I should have done more, I should have shared more but when I come to my website I freeze, my heart skips, I take a deep breath and then close the page. I don’t want to do that anymore so that’s why I’m going to use the homepage to share a fresh photo everyday. BUT don’t think I have forgotten you or that you don’t matter. I’ve decided to write a post as often as I can to update you on how life is going – mostly to fill you in on how Brooklyn is doing. Don’t worry I will make sure he will always remember who you are and how important you are to all of us.
Every little win I have is partly because of you and in your name Dad.
I’ll see you tomorrow.
Son.
ps – Brooklyn is learning to swim. He loves it !!
