I had to go home because Tam lost his Mother last week and i wanted to be there to support the brother. I didn’t know her well but what was apparent immediately after speaking to Tam’s family is that she was an amazing woman. She put everyone else first so much so that it upset Tam at times how she put herself out there for everyone. I guess she reminds me of you in a lot of ways as she too was a hard worker. There’s something about you true old skool people, you just had higher standard and better work ethics– we admire you for that.
I visited Mum as well. She misses you of course but when I walked into her new place for the first time I didn’t like it. I felt a little uncomfortable and I didn’t know why. Then I realised it’s because everything in there was how it was suppose to be. The kitchen had typical things you would expect to see in the kitchen– 1 fridge, 1 rubbish bin etc not 3 fridges, 3 rubbish bins and food scraps in the freezer because you know otherwise when you put the food scraps out for collection the cats and dogs will get into it and make a mess. So you freeze the scraps to eliminate that– good thinking Dad The living room only has a couch and an 1 arm chair there’s no outdoor furniture sitting in the centre of the room with a little side table and 4 remotes for all your gadgets. I think that’s what hurt me the most as well as seeing an empty fridge, in my 38 yrs I’ve never seen an empty fridge and it made me sad.
But it makes sense though right? It’s just Mum so her house is furnished just for her– I get it. It’s a nice house, you would have liked it there’s plenty of storage space and way too many rooms at least I know that will never change.
I told Mum how I had a bad dream about you one night and then that night she had a dream about you then came out to the lounge to tell me about it. It was 1 am and I was still awake because of the time difference. She told me that she dreamt of you hugging her and she woke up crying because she knew she would never feel your hugs again. She said she felt silly and that’s why she woke up, but it’s not silly is it? Actually I miss your hugs, I miss your voice, I miss the weird things you used to do. And that’s why I’m so eager to move back to NZ is because although Mum and I have never had a great relationship I understand that as much as I love you and the pain I feel by you not being here I know that it will never amount to the pain that Mum must be going through because she had you there everyday and now you are gone.
The living room only has a couch and an 1 arm chair there’s no outdoor furniture sitting in the centre of the room with a little side table and 4 remotes for all your gadgets. I think that’s what hurt me the most as well as seeing an empty fridge, in my 38 yrs I’ve never seen an empty fridge and it made me sad.